|
|
Cadaver Stiffs |
Team Owner: Franchise Fogeys: Bounty Hunters: Death Wish: Manchurian: Zombies: |
RIP
 |
 |
 |
| Pleshette | Ledger | Maharishi Mahesh Yogi |
 |
 |
|
| Butz | Georgia Tech baseball player |
ROSTER
Fogeylist:
Abdul Aziz al-Hakim
- Number two in the Supreme Assembly of the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SAIRI), the main Shiite group.
Abdul Qadeer Khan
- Physicist, father of Pakistani nuclear bomb
Abe Vigoda (FFF 2003, 2004, 2006)
- Vigoda often looked dead on the 1970s sitcom Barney Miller, where he played the gloomy and rumpled Detective Sgt. Phil Fish. In 1992 People magazine reported that Vigoda was dead, and by 2001 Vigoda's presumed demise had become such a pop culture joke that even the New York Times mentioned it in a story on his 80th birthday.
Alabama State Hornets
Alain & Gerard Wertheimer
- Grandsons of Chanel's founder, Pierre Wertheimer. Probably the most tightly held of the big French companies, Chanel remains 100% in their hands.
Alan Alda
- Spent 11 years playing Hawkeye Pierce on the TV sitcom M*A*S*H*.
Alan Boyd
- First U.S. Secretary of Transportation (1967-69), appointed by Lyndon B. Johnson. After term ended, became President of Illinois Central Railroad, and then of Amtrak.
Alan Dershowitz
- The top lawyer of last resort in the country. Former clients include O.J. Simpson, Claus von Bulow, Michael Milken, Leona Helmsley, Jim Bakker, Christian Brando, Mike Tyson, Penthouse, Senator Alan Cranston, John DeLorean, and David Crosby.
Alan Gerry
- High school dropout sought better TV reception by building his own $1,500 antenna tower; later built, bought cable franchises. Sold Cablevision Industries to Time Warner in 1996 for $2.8 billion.
Alan Greenspan
- Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board. Ascended to his current post in 1987.
Ariel Sharon
- The threat of murder comes with the job of Israeli Prime Minister.
Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Diamondbacks
Arizona Wildcats
Arizona State Sun Devils
Arkansas Little Rock Trojans
Arkansas-Pine Bluff Golden Lions
Arkansas Razorbacks
Arkansas State Indians
Arlen Specter
- US senator from Pennsylvania
Bill O'Reilly
- The host of the O'Reilly Factor on Fox News. A former anchor for the tabloid Inside Edition, O'Reilly poses nightly as a fair and balanced news analyst with a no-spin zone. In reality, he's a biased Republican with an all spin-zone.
Bill Parcells
- NFL coach who has retired several times
Bill Russell
- Russell was the cornerstone of the Boston Celtics' dynasty of the 1960s. His greatest accomplishment was bringing the Celtics 11 championships in his 13 seasons.
Bill Walton
- He always mixes in a few Greatful Dead references when he broadcasts NBA games.
Bobby Hull
- His signing with the Winnipeg Jets gave instant credibility to a new league, the World Hockey Association, in the 1970s.
Bobby McFerrin
- One-hit wonder with the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy"
Bobby Thomson
- He hit the 1951 home run that prompted the sportscaster to yell repeatedly, "The Giants Win The Pennant!".
Bobby Unser
- Three-time Indy 500 winner and brother of Al Unser Sr., a four-time Indy winner. In 2002 he was driving drunk in Las Vegas and wound up getting arrested for hitting a stripper in the face and then throwing her out of the car.
Bobby Vinton
- Young teen idol of the 1960s. One of many singers with a theater in Branson, MO.
Bobcat Goldthwait
- That screaming guy from the Police Academy movies. Wrote and directed the movie bomb Shakes The Clown (1991). Recent years have found Goldthwait keeping a lower, often invisible profile doing voice work for cartoons.
Boise State Broncos
Carlos the Jackal
- Perhaps the world's most elusive criminal, Carlos the Jackal (real name Ilich Ramirez Sanchez) is said to have masterminded a spectacular series of bombings, kidnappings and hijackings across Europe for most of the 1970s and early 1980s. Wanted for terrorist crimes in at least five European countries. Ramirez has yet to be tried for most of the crimes he is suspected of having committed.
Carly Simon
- People still question who her 1973 song (#1 for the year) 'You're So Vain' was about. Speculation includes Mick Jagger and Warren Beatty.
Carmen Electra
- Hot looking bad actress with bad choice in men. She married Dennis Rodman; dated B-Real and Prince. Starred in an MTV reality series leading up to her marriage with Dave Navarro (2004).
Carnie Wilson
- The former fatty of Wilson Phillips had gastric bypass surgery
Carol Burnett
- Born April 26, 1933. The Carol Burnett Show
Carol Channing (FFF 2006, 2007)
- Ancient actress was already an old bag back when we were kids.
Carole Bayer Sager
- Highly successful songwriter and singer, wrote or co-wrote "Don't Cry Out Loud", "When I Need You", "Nobody Does It Better", "Arthur's Theme" and "That's What Friends Are For".
Carole King
- Tapestry and other great albums. Sang on the first Divas show on VH-1.
Carolina Hurricanes
Carolina Panthers
Cliff Robertson
- A polished leading man, Robertson began his career in film and TV in the 1950s. It is said that he was chosen by President John F. Kennedy himself to portray JFK in the 1963 film P.T.-109.
Clint Eastwood
- Squinting actor and former mayor of Carmel, CA. Became a father again after turning 65.
Clive Barker
- Wrote many popular horror novels. Many of his works have been adapted horror films, including the 'Hellraiser' movies and 'Rawhead Rex'.
Dan Rather
- Was born October 31st, 1931. The R.E.M. song, "What's The Frequency, Kenneth?" is based on an incident in 1986 when Rather, while walking in Manhattan, was struck down, beaten, and kicked by an assailant who kept repeating "What's the frequency Kenneth?"
Dan Reeves
- He held the Dallas Cowboys mark for most rushing touchdowns in a season until Emmitt Smith broke it in 1992. He has the most wins among active NFL coaches, but is 0-4 in the Super Bowl.
Dan Rostenkowski
- Corrupt Chicago politician. Pleaded guilty in April 1996 to two counts of misuse of public funds. Sentenced to seventeen months in federal prison.
Dana Carvey
- Regular on Saturday Night Live (1986-93). Characters included the Church Lady, Hans, Garth and The Grumpy Old Man. He impersonates George HW Bush, John McLaughlin, Ross Perot and Johnny Carson.
Daniel Baldwin
- Baldwin brother who was found running naked through the halls of New York's Plaza Hotel and arrested for possession of cocaine. In November 2006 he was arrested for stealing a car.
Daniel Ellsberg
- Born 1931. Source of Pentagon Papers leak.
Daniel Schorr
- Correspondent on National Public Radio
Danny Aiello
- Virtually cornered the market on tough, urban ethnic types. Played cops, hoods, and working-class Italian patriarchs.
Danny Bonaduce
- Child actor on The Partridge Family, radio personality
Danny DeVito
- Louie in Taxi, directed and starred in Throw Momma From the Train
Don Johnson
- Starred as Sonny on 'Miami Vice' and Nash on 'Nash Bridges'. He is an alcoholic and cocaine addict. His record 'Heart Beat' was voted by MTV as the lamest video of all time.
Don King
- Dude...hair
Don Larsen
- Pitched a World Series perfect game
Dustin Diamond
- Screech on Saved by the Bell
Dustin Hoffman
- Actor with range - The Graduate to Midnight Cowboy to Tootsie.
Dwight Gooden
- Doc had a couple of great seasons in the mid-80’s pitching for the Mets. He was a sure-fire Hall of Famer until nose-candy started playing a role in Doc’s life. He was suspended for most of the 1994 and all of the 1995 season for continued cocaine use. The day after that suspension, he tried to kill himself. Hours after George Steinbrenner praised him in 2002 for showing that people can get over substance abuse, he was arrested for drunk driving.
Dyan Cannon
- She was married to Cary Grant.
E. Howard Hunt
- He was a member of US president Richard Nixon's White House "plumbers" group that was attempting to stop information leaking from the administration. He was convicted for his part in organizing the Watergate break-in.
E. Pierce Marshall
- Son of late Texas oil baron J. Howard Marshall II; inherited father's stake in privately held Koch Industries. Still sparring with stepmom Anna Nicole Smith over estate.
Earl Butz
- He left the United States Department of Agriculture in 1976 after intense criticism for an insensitive joke he told reporters. "Do you know what the black man wants?", he asked. "Loose shoes, tight p---y and a warm place to s--t." He once ridiculed Pope Paul VI for his stand on birth control, quipping that "he no playa da game, he no maka da rules." On May 22, 1981, Butz pleaded guilty on federal tax evasion charges.
As of 2004, Butz is the oldest living former Cabinet member, regardless of department or administration served.
Ernie Harwell
- The voice of the Detroit Tigers.
Erno Rubik
- Invented Rubik's Cube
Flip Wilson
- Claims he had doctors insert a penis pump even though his own worked fine.
Florida A&M Rattlers
Florida Atlantic Owls
Florida Gators
Florida International Golden Panthers
Florida Marlins
Florida Panthers
George Steinbrenner
- The New York Yankees just won't be as fun without George around when he returns to reign over hell again.
George Takei
- Mr. Sulu on Star Trek
George Wallace
- Standup comedian and actor. He's had roles in "Batman Forever", "Little Nicky" and other movies.
George Washington Colonials
George Wendt
- Norm on Cheers
George Will
- Nerdy arch-conservative newspaper columnist.
Georgetown Hoyas
Georgia Bulldogs
Georgia Southern Eagles
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
Herman Wouk
- Author of "The Winds of War" and "The Caine Mutiny"
Hermann Schnabel
- Built up Helm AG from a small Hamburg export company he bought after WWII to one of the world's largest chemical trading companies. Schnabel, an active art collector, owns works by Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Monet, Renoir and Degas. Also collects stamps.
Herschel Savage
- Porn star. Go-to performer for Seymore Butts.
Hillary Clinton
- Senator/former first lady
Indiana Pacers
Indiana State Sycamores
Indianapolis Colts
Ingvar Kamprad
- Despite a bout with prostate cancer last year, the 76-year-old founder of home furnishings giant IKEA has no intention of retiring. Entrepreneurial from the start, Kamprad sold matches, fish, pens and Christmas cards by bicycle as a teenager.
Ion Iliescu
- President of Romania after the ousting of Nicolae Ceausescu.
Iowa Hawkeyes
Iowa State Cyclones
Ira Magaziner
- Internet advisor under Bill Clinton
Janeane Garofalo
- Appeared on 'Saturday Night Live,' 'Larry Sanders Show,' 'Reality Bites,' 'Mystery Men,' 'Matchmaker,' and 'Romy & Michele'. Atheist vegetarian.
Janet Jackson
- The youngest of the nine Jackson children. Who will be first to go? She suffered with depression, despite having #1 hits.
Janet Reno
- First female attorney general. Has Parkinson's disease.
Janet Waldo
- The voice of many cartoon characters, including Judy Jetson in the animated TV series "The Jetsons" and Josie in "Josie and the Pussycats"
Janice Dickinson
- 1970s supermodel now writes books giving advice and/or about how hard she partied in the 70s
Jasper Johns
- American pop/abstract expressionist painter and sculptor, born 1930.
Jay Leno
- Tonight Show host named Johnny Carson's replacement in 1991
Jay McShann
- Legendary Kansas City jazz and blues pianist and later vocalist
Jay-Z
- Hip hop mogul Shawn Carter. Recently got three years' probation after pleading guilty to misdemeanor assault for stabbing a record executive.
J.C. Watts
- He refused to join the congressional Black Caucus, calling them "race-hustling poverty pimps." Whenever there was a photo op between 1994 and 2000, Republicans always rounded up their own genuine black Congressman. Watts retired from the House after four terms.
Jean Coutu
- Founded in 1969 with a single drugstore, the Jean Coutu Group now includes more than 650 stores in the U.S. and Canada. In the U.S. the stores operate as Brooks Pharmacy and are concentrated in New England. Coutu recently made a play for J.C. Penney's Eckerd drugstore chain.
Jean Stapleton (FFF 2007)
- Edith Bunker
Johnny Mathis
- Easy-listening musician who missed trying out for the 1956 US Olympic track team to go to New York & make his first record. Your granny's probably got his Greatest Hits album in the attic.
Johnny Rotten
- AKA John Joseph Lydon. Sex Pistols and Public Image, Ltd. In 2006 Lydon and his Sex Pistol bandmates made the rare decision of rejecting their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Jonathan Bush
- Brother of George H.W. Bush. Once described his father Prescott Bush to a reporter this way: "I never heard him fart." Member of the Whiffenpoofs while at Yale.
Jonathan Winters
- Comic genius, major influence on Robin Williams
Jon Bon Jovi
- Should die because he can't sing or act to save his life.
Keith Olbermann
- Former ESPN SportsCenter anchor who keeps walking away from good gigs to take lesser and lesser jobs.
Keith Richards
- Demon without a single drop of human blood left in his veins.
Kelly Osbourne
- She seems to be the most level-headed member of her family.
Kelsey Grammer
- Both he and Frasier are still alive, though Kelsey is missing an appendix these days
Kemal Uzan
- Communications mogul built a fortune using questionable tactics; now it's in peril. Turkey's independent banking regulator assumed control of two of the family's banks, alleging he and sons had illegally pocketed $5.9 billion. The Turkish government seized their mobile phone company Telsim, once valued as much as $5 billion. In response, son Cem, who heads the Turkish Young Party, held a press conference affirming his plans to become Turkey's next prime minister. Meanwhile, US courts ruled the family owes Nokia and Motorola $4.2 billion for outstanding loans; triggering the seizure of the family's private jets and New York apartments. Now on the hunt for Kemal, rumored to be hiding out in California.
Kenichi Mabuchi
- Founder of Mabuchi Motors, the world's biggest manufacturer of small electric motors. His motors are used in everything from power windows to DVD Players.
Kenneth Anger
- Pioneer avant-garde filmmaker. Suicide attempt in 1950 didn't pan out. "Lucifer is the patron saint of the visual arts. Color, form - all these are the work of Lucifer."
Kenneth Kaunda
- President of Zambia 1964-91
Kenneth Morrison
- After a yearlong, six-way bidding war Sir Kenneth emerged the winner of Safeway supermarkets in December, when his more than $5 billion stock-and-cash offer was accepted.
Kenneth Starr
- In 1998 Ken submitted his infamous Starr Report to Congress, which detailed every groan, grope, grab, burp and bang that took place in the Bill Clinton's Oval Office.
Loretta Lynn
- Coal Miner's Daughter, older sister of Crystal Gayle
Loretta Swit
- Hot Lips on M*A*S*H*
Los Angeles Clippers
Madeleine L'Engle
- Popular children's author, her most famous work is "A Wrinkle in Time"
Madonna
- Played a little tonsil hockey with Britney Spears at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards.
Magic Johnson
- The announcer in Michael Jackson's "Remember the Time" video. Tough deadpool pick as apparently even AIDS has no effect on him.
Maersk Mc-Kinney Moller
- Stepped down as chairman of the family's shipping company in December 2003. His father and grandfather founded the business in 1904.
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
- He was the Beatles' spiritual guru and he turned the world on to Transcendental Meditation.
Mahmoud Abbas
- Born 1935. Chairman of the PLO & Fatah in Palestine.
Maine Blackbears
Malcolm Glazer
- Shopping-mall magnate owns the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Manchester United.
Malcolm Toon
- Former US ambassador to the Soviet Union
Mamie Van Doren
- 1950s sex goddess best known for wearing the brassiere known as the bullet bra.
Micky Dolenz
- Drummer for The Monkees
Mickey Rooney
- 1940s superstar actor. Married more times than he can probably recall, including, most improbably, to screen goddess Ava Gardner. He underwent surgery for a perforated colon in 1999, and had part of it removed, presumably leaving him with a semi-colon.
Mickey Rourke
- Starred in '1941,' 'Pope of Greenwich Village,' '9½ Weeks,' 'Homeboy,' 'Johnny Handsome,' 'Wild Orchid,' 'The Rainmaker' and 'Buffalo '66' . He was arrested for assaulting his wife in 1994 - what a complete wuss! Kim Basinger branded him 'The Human Ashtray.' His co-stars have complained of his bad body odor.
Missouri Tigers
Mitch Miller
- Bandleader and music company executive, worked with many big stars. At the same time he had a highly successful performing career in the form of Mitch Miller and His Gang, and fronted the TV series "Sing Along With Mitch".
Mitzi Gaynor
- 1950s pinup girl
Mohammed Bahr al-Uloom (FFF 2005, 2006)
- An 80-year-old liberal Shiite cleric who fled Iraq in 1991 and returned after the fall of Saddam Hussein in April 2003.
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
- Iraqi Information Minister, AKA Baghdad Bob or Comical Ali.
Néstor Kirchner
- President of Argentina
Nevada Wolf Pack
New England Patriots
New Hampshire Wildcats
New Jersey Devils
New Jersey Nets
New Mexico Lobos
New Mexico State Aggies
New Orleans Hornets
New Orleans Privateers
Patty Andrews
- One of the Andrews Sisters singing group, famous for the songs "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" and "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree"
Patty Duke
- Her eponymous TV show made her the youngest actress ever to have her own show.
Patty Hearst
- Was kidnapped in 1974 by the Symbionese Liberation Army. She sympathized with her captors, took the code name Tania, and joined forces with them to rob a bank.
Paul and Hans Riegel
- Brother duo behind Haribo, maker of cheerfully chewy Gummi Bears.
Paul Allen
- Co-founder of Microsoft and one of the richest men in the world. He owns the Portland Trailblazers and the Seattle Seahawks.
Paul Biya
- Independent Cameroon’s first dictator, Ahmadou Ahidjo, resigned after 22 years in power when his French doctors convinced him that he had a terminal illness. He didn’t, but by the time he realized this, his replacement, Paul Biya, was safely in place, and Ahidjo had to flee the country. Cameroon has the reputation of being one of the world’s most corrupt countries.
Paul Desmarais
- Bought his father's one-route Ontario bus company for a dollar in 1951; eventually built into Power Corp., a $14 billion financial services and communications giant. While sons Andre and Paul Jr. run the company, Paul Sr. collects Canadian art and hunts birds at his private estate in Quebec.
Prince Charles
- Heir to the throne. A poor deadpool pick due to the longevity of his parents and grandmother.
Prince Philip
- Originally a Prince of Greece and Denmark. Known as Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten before marrying Princess Elizabeth (Queen Elizabeth II) in 1947. It was revealed in October 2007 that for the past 15 years he has been suffering from a heart condition.
Princeton Tigers
Providence Friars
Puff Daddy
- Rapper, fashion designer, in good with a jury. He’ll be the subject of "I’ll be missing you, too" some time soon.
Purdue Boilermakers
Queen Elizabeth II
- The current monarch of England. Her late mother's longevity suggests she may have 20 years left in her yet.
Qwest
- In a desperate battle with Verizon. Qwest has had a tumultuous time lately, including a single day when its stock lost 57% of its market value. Former CEO Joe Nacchio stepped down in 2004, and now the SEC is charging the company with massive fraud designed to mislead the investing public about the company's revenue and growth.
R.G. Armstrong
- Played Pruneface in "Dick Tracy"
R. Lee Ermey
- Marine drill sergeant turned actor. Famous for his role as Sgt. Hartman in "Full Metal Jacket". Born 1944.
Roberto Cavalli
- Fashion designer invented a technique for printing on leather
Robin Leach
- Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
Rochus Misch
- Hitler’s bodyguard. The only living veteran of the last days in the bunker.
Rod Laver
- Australian tennis player who enjoyed his greatest successes in the '60s.
Rod Paige
- GW Bush's Education Secretary. He called the nation's largest teacher's union a terrorist organization.
Robert Smith
- Lead singer of The Cure is still trying to pull off a goth persona as a middle-aged man.
Rod Stewart
- Past-his-prime rock star who pays young blondes to pretend to like him. Best-known hits include "Maggie May" and "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?".
Roddy Piper
- Here to kick ass, chew bubble gum
Rodney King
- In 1992 four LA police officers gave him a beatdown, then were acquitted of assault, sparking the LA riots.
Roger Daltrey
- Vocalist for The Who.
Sebastian Bach
- Former Skid Row vocalist
Serge Dassault
- The outspoken heir to Dassault computer and aviation businesses. Dassault the man also made headlines with plans to develop modular housing for French towns and to mass-market electric cars with partner Hydro-Québec.
Sergio Mantegazza
- President of tour outfit, Globus & Cosmos, for 50 years. Loves expensive toys: has a helicopter and a yacht, recently bought himself a $600,000 Mercedes Maybach.
Seton Hall Pirates
Severiano Ballesteros
- Golfer who won five majors: Masters (1980 and 1983), British Open (1979, 1984, and 1988).
Shannon Elizabeth
- Nadia in American Pie 1 and 2
Sharon Osbourne
- After managing Ozzy's career, she became an unexpected TV star in the series about their lives. Fighting colon cancer.
Shecky Greene
- Las Vegas nightclub performer with a history of drinking, carousing, gambling, turning over crap tables and busting up entire casinos.
Sheldon Adelson
- Casino mogul doubling down: nearing completion on one of two planned casino resorts in Far East gambling mecca Macau. Owns the Venetian in Las Vegas, the Strip's largest hotel.
Shelley Berman
- Comedian, made many appearances on "The Ed Sullivan Show"
Teodoro Obiang Nguema
- Dictator of the West African nation Equatorial Guinea. Obiang is believed to be suffering from prostate cancer. He deposed his uncle on August 3, 1979 in a coup d'état, and executed him soon after. In July 2003, state-operated radio declared him to be "in permanent contact with the Almighty" and can "kill anyone without being called to account."
Teresa Heinz
- John Kerry's rich wife
Terry Gilliam
- Member of the Monty Python comedy troupe, he was the creator of the animation sequences on the show.
Tetsuro Funai
- President of Funai Electric, a medium-size audiovisual equipment manufacturer. Makes most of its low-price televisions and DVD players in China and then ships them to Wal-Mart.
Tony Dow
- After 'Leave it to Beaver,' most roles he got were very small, even going uncredited. His mother was one of Hollywood's original stunt women.
Tony Iommi
- Founding member and lead guitarist of Black Sabbath
Tony Martin
- Crooner popular in the 1940s and 1950s
Tony Robbins
- Toothy motivational speaker
Tonya Harding
- Her husband and a gang of third-rate thugs cracked an opponent's knee. Since then, Harding has divorced, served jail time, feuded with her fan club, starred in a wedding-night porn video, and popped up in celebrity boxing matches.
Too Short
- Todd Shaw (AKA Too $hort), was one of rap's original pimp lyricists. Will his lifespan be too short as well?
Toronto Blue Jays
Toronto Maple Leafs
Toronto Raptors
US Senate - Any current Senators from Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, or Georgia.
US Senate - Any current Senators from Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, or Iowa.
Western Michigan Broncos
Whitey Ford
- All-time leader in World Series wins (10)
Whitey Herzog
- The "White Rat" led Kansas City to three straight American League West division titles, and St. Louis to three National League pennants and a World Series championship in 1982.
Wofford Terriers
Woody Allen
- Won an Oscar for Hannah and Her Sisters. Messy breakup with Mia Farrow. His father lived to be 100.
Celebrity Couples
Alicia Silverstone and Christopher Jarecki
Amanda Peet & David Benioff
Arnold Schwarzenegger & Maria Shriver
Avril Lavigne & Deryck Whibley
Matthew Broderick & Sarah Jessica Parker
Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels
Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Wilkerson
Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta-Jones