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Heaven Can't Wait |
Team Owner: Bill Brake Franchise Fogeys: Bounty Hunters: Deathwish: Manchurian Candidate: Zombies: John F. Kennedy, Dr. Martin Luther King, Richard Nixon |
RIP
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| Pleshette | Ledger | Arthur C. Clarke |
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| ATA Airlines |
ROSTER
Fogeylist:
Achille Maramotti
- Italian founder and owner of MaxMara fashion group. His collection of Renaissance and modern art is one of the largest in Europe.
Adam Ant
- A pin-up singer in his heyday, but now old, fat and suffering from depression. Was detained in 2002 after throwing a car alternator through a pub window.
Adam Sandler
- Movie star who plays mentally challenged characters
Alberto Bailleres
- Lords over a diversified empire in Mexico that includes the world's biggest silver producer, the successful department store Palacio de Hierro and a major insurance company. Something of a throwback, Bailleres is passionate about bullfighting and horse racing.
Albertson's
Alcorn State Braves
Alec Baldwin
- Was married to Kim Basinger for 8 years.
Alex Karras
- Actor / football player
Alex Trebek
- Hosted Jeopardy! since 1984
Alexander Haig
- In 1981 President Reagan was injured after a failed assassination attempt and Secretary of State Haig famously blundered on TV, claiming constitutional authority ("I am in control here"), when, in fact, the order of succession places the secretary of state below the vice president, the speaker of the House and the president pro tempore of the Senate.
Arthur Blank
- With partner Bernard Marcus, founded Home Depot in 1978 after getting axed from now-defunct Handy Dan chain. Partners are now retired. Blank is now focusing on another kind of fan: he's the owner of the Atlanta Falcons.
Arthur C. Clarke
- Science-fiction great, author of "2001--A Space Odyssey".
Arthur Rock
- Early tech investor made prescient bet on Intel in 1968.
Arthur Williams Jr
- Son of pickle factory worker, former high school football coach started selling life insurance in 1967. Built empire on simple philosophy: "Buy term and invest the difference." Sold to Primerica in 1989.
Ashley Olsen
- Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen from Full House
Ashton Kutcher
- Majored in biochemical engineering in college, which seems bizarre.
ATA Airlines
- A low-cost structure gives it an edge over the big network airlines. Indianapolis-based ATA has deep operating ties with Southwest.
Atal Bihari Vajpayee
- Prime Minister of India, first for a brief spell in 1996, and then again from 1998-2004. Born 1924.
Atlanta Braves
Atlanta Falcons
Billy Corgan
- Leader of Smashing Pumpkins. His latest band is called Zwan.
Billy Crystal
- SNL alum, Jodie on Soap and Oscar host.
Billy Graham
- Revivalist/writer. Has Parkinson's Disease.
Billy Idol
- The #1 music rebel of the 1980s. A motorcycle crash in February 1990 seriously damaged his leg. In 1992 he was put on probation for two years for an assault on a fan. In 1994 Idol narrowly escaped death for a second time when he overdosed.
Boston University Terriers
Boutros Boutros-Ghali
- General Secretary of the United Nations 1992-96.
Boy George
- Singer, born June 14, 1961
Brad Pitt
- Impressive lineup of ex-girlfriends includes Robin Givens, Juliette Lewis, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jennifer Aniston. He traded up on Aniston to get Angelina Jolie, but they won't get married until "everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able."
Bradley Braves
Bradley Hughes
- California real estate syndicator in the 1970s noticed growing demand for self-storage space. Today Public Storage has more than 800,000 self-storage spaces in 80 cities.
Brenda Vaccaro
- Star of several Playtex commercials
Charo
- "Coochi-coochi" gal of the early '70s when she was married to the much older Xavier Cugat.
Charles Barkley
- He was fined more than any other NBA player in history. Scored over 23,000 points.
Charles Butt
- Third-generation grocer took over family's H.E. Butt supermarket chain in 1971; now more than 300 stores. Catering to yuppie tastes with upscale Central Market stores: eschews brands like Kraft and Coca-Cola in favor of gourmet foods, wine and cheese, in-store cafes.
Charles, David and Bill Koch
- Sons of Koch Industries founder Fred Koch. Koch Industries' $1 billion deal with Entergy filled energy-trading void left by Enron.
Charles Dolan
- After a couple of bumpy years, chairman of fifth-largest cable operator focusing on core business: jettisoned consumer electronics retailer the Wiz, 80% stake in cable channel Bravo.
Charles Durning
- Actor born in 1923. Not in the best of health lately, and his obesity doesn't help his chances of seeing next year.
Charles Keating Jr.
- Symbolized insider fraud in the S&L debacle. Keating was convicted for fraudulently representing to investors, mostly elderly, that the junk bonds sold by Lincoln Savings & Loan were as safe as certificates of deposit. Despite pleas for leniency by Mother Teresa, whose organizations received more than $1 million from Keating's companies, he was sentenced to the maximum of 10 years by Judge Lance Ito in 1992.
Charles Manson
- It seems as if Charles Manson did not directly commit any murders. He had a strong sense of persuasiveness and ran what could be called a cult. His "family" believed he was Jesus Christ. His goal apparently was to begin a racial war, so that in the end only he and his family would be left, along with black slaves. Charles Manson named his racial Armageddon philosophy after "Helter Skelter," a Beatles song.
Charles Mathias
- Republican Senator from Maryland, 1969-87
Charles Munger
- Met Warren Buffett 1959, invested in Berkshire Hathaway. Berkshire vice chairman also owns substantial stakes in Costco Wholesale, Daily Journal Corp.
College of Charleston Cougars
Colorado Avalanche
Colorado Buffaloes
David Bowie
- He constantly reinvents himself and his singing style. He was the first rocker to use pyrotechnics and special effects. He started trans-gender rock 'n' roll, dressing as a woman. His ex-wife Angie once found David and Mick Jagger in bed together. Suffered a heart attack in 2004.
David Byrne
- Frontman for Talking Heads
David Carradine
- Grasshopper who played Bill in Kill Bill.
David Caruso
- The red-headed star of NYPD Blue was in the show for a little more than one season before jumping ship.
David Copperfield
- Magician who made the Statue of Liberty disappear in 1983
David Crosby
- Obese druggie folk-rocker
David Duffield
- Cofounder, father figure of PeopleSoft. Became 2nd-largest enterprise-software maker in U.S. with $1.8 billion purchase of J.D. Edwards in 2003. Started $240 million Maddie's Fund (named for his late schnauzer) to make America a "no-kill" zone for unwanted pets.
David Duke
- One-time KKK leader and state legislator. Pleaded guilty to charges of mail fraud and filing a false tax return in 2003.
David Gold
- Revived five-and-dime retail concept with 99 Cents Only stores; made fortune with a mix of crafty promotions, memorable bargains, low overhead. Company's highest-grossing store is in Beverly Hills: "Rich people love bargains. That's how they got rich."
David Green
- Opened first Hobby Lobby store 1972 in Oklahoma City to sell handmade wooden picture frames. Low-tech retailer shuns bar codes, big wholesale suppliers; prefers buying directly from factories in Asia. Devout Christian bought Mel Tillis theater in Branson, Mo., donated it to local church group.
Don Novello
- Born January 1, 1943. Father Guido Sarducci on SNL.
Don Pardo
- NBC voice. The only constant in a changing world.
Don Rickles (FFF 2006)
- Caustic funnyman. Mr. Potato Head in Toy Story.
Eastern Michigan Eagles
East Tennessee State Buccaneers
Eastern Washington Eagles
Ed Asner
- Lou Grant
Ed Koch
- Former Mayor of New York City, U.S. Congressman and judge on “The People’s Court”
Ed McMahon
- Said, "Heeeere's Johnnny!" on the Tonight Show.
Ed O'Neill
- Al Bundy, shoe salesman
Estelle Getty (FFF 2004, 2007)
- Spent 10 years playing the role of the little old granny in "The Golden Girls", but is in fact a few weeks younger than her co-star, Bea Arthur. Is suffering from Parkinson's disease and Alzheimer's disease.
Ethel Kennedy
- Ethel married RFK and had eleven children.
Frank Carlucci
- US Secretary of Defense 1987-89
Frank Gaylord
- Principal sculptor of the Korean Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. Born 1925.
Frank Gifford
- Wayward hubby of Kathy Lee. Kathy Lee tearing him to shreds with innuendos and guilt trips must sap his will to live. Death would be a relief for him.
Frank Layden
- Joined the Utah Jazz when they were still down in New Orleans and coached the team until 1988.
Frank Lowy
- The former deli-owner turned shopping mall Midas oversees an $24 billion portfolio of 117 centers on three continents. At the behest of the Aussie government is helping to revive the country's languishing soccer league.
Frank Serpico
- An honest cop
Frankie Avalon
- Teen idol in the 1950s (his song Venus was covered by Bananarama in 1986). Became known for his roles in the beach film genre in the 60s.
Gilbert O'Sullivan
- Irish singer/songwriter. Big in the early 1970s with "Alone Again (Naturally)"
Gina Lollobrigida
- A lusty busty Italian mama popular in the 60s
Ginger Lynn
- Master thespian of the pornographic arts.
Giorgio Armani
- Much-celebrated fashion designer.
Giulio Andreotti
- Prime minister of Italy numerous times.
Glen Campbell
- Country singer who his just as famous for alcohol, cocaine and violence as he is for "Rhinestone Cowboy".
Glen Taylor
- Turned $2 million investment into $1.3 billion printing empire Taylor Corp. (wedding invitations, stationery, magazines). Owns Minnesota Timberwolves, WNBA's Lynx.
Glenn Beck
- Conservative radio and TV talk-show host. He has promised he will never question the Iraq war, no matter how unpopular it gets.
Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
- President of the Philippines
Gloria Steinem
- Feminist and writer who once went undercover as a Playboy Bunny.
Hosni Mubarak
- Military leader and president of Egypt since Anwar Sadat's assassination in 1981. Every six years, he stages a rigged election to maintain his position as president. In November 2003 he collapsed in parliament during a televised address, but reappeared shortly afterwards, putting it down to flu.
Houston Astros
Houston Cougars
Houston Rockets
J.K. Rowling
- Born 1965. Absurdly wealthy author of the Harry Potter books.
Jack Black
- Seen in many movies such as 'Shallow Hal', 'Cradle Will Rock', 'Enemy of the State', and 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.' Singer, songwriter and guitarist for the group Tenacious D.
Jack Kemp
- NFL QB and VP candidate under Bob Dole in 1996
Jack Kevorkian
- It'll be kind of poetic if he's found guilty of murder and dies by lethal injection, assisted by the state.
Jack Klugman
- Oscar Madison
Jack LaLanne
- The Godfather of Physical Fitness. Said, "I can't die. It would ruin my image."
Jack Nicholson
- Starred in 'The Shining' 'A Few Good Men,' 'Terms of Endearment,' 'Mars Attack,' 'Hoffa,' 'Two Jakes,' 'Batman,' 'Chinatown,' 'Witches of Eastwick,' 'Five Easy Pieces,' 'Easy Rider,' 'Little Shop of Horrors' and 'Reds'.
Jack Nicklaus
- 70 PGA Tour wins including 6 Masters, 5 PGA Championships, 4 US Opens, 3 British Opens, 8 Senior PGA Tour majors. Named Player of the Century by PGA (1988).
Jerry West
- His dribbling silhouette is used in the NBA's official logo.
Jess Jackson
- Three decades after planting his first 20 acres of grapes, onetime attorney has built Kendall-Jackson into one of America's most valuable wineries by offering blended chardonnays and other varietals appealing to affluent masses.
Jesse Helms
- Former US Senator (R-NC) and another case for term limits.
Jesse Jackson
- He was at MLK's side in Memphis when King was assassinated, April 4, 1968.
Jesse Ventura
- governor/actor/wrestler
JetBlue
- Low-cost airline duking it out with the majors.
Jiang Zemin
- President of the People's Republic of China from 1993 to 2003
Jillian Barberie
- FOX sports "Weather Girl"
Jim Bakker
- PTL TV minister who got caught boinking church secretary. Born on 1-2-1939 in Muskegon, Michigan.
Jim Brown
- 8 Time NFL Leader in rushing. Acted in 'The Dirty Dozen' and 'Ice Station Zebra' . He often wears a stupid looking kufi hat in public.
Jim Bunning
- US Senator (R - Kentucky); RHP 1955-71 Tigers , Phillies, Pirates, Dodgers
Jim Calhoun
- He built the UConn Husky program from scratch and has won 2 NCAA titles.
Joseph Wapner
- Judge on the TV show "The People's Court". Would easily win an out-and-out brawl against Ed Koch or Judge Judy.
Joseph Wiseman
- Played Dr. No in the James Bond movie
Joyce Brothers
- Popular talk show guest on psychology who got her start by winning a game show in the '50s.
Joyce Randolph
- Trixie on The Honeymooners
Juan-Antonio Samaranch
- President of International Olympic Committee (1980-2001)
Kroger
- Supermarket chain
Kunio Busujima
- Founder and chairman of Sankyo, major slot machine maker in Japan.
Kurt Loder
- MTV News reporter
Kurtwood Smith
- Portrayed Red Foreman on 'That '70s Show'
Kweisi Mfume
- NAACP President and Chief Executive Officer.
Kyle Petty
- Woefully bad NASCAR racer
L. Lowry Mays
- Harvard M.B.A. bought first radio station in 1972 with fellow Texan Red McCombs. Built Clear Channel Communications into nation's largest station owner with 1,200 outlets.
La Salle Explorers
Lafayette Leopards
Laffit Pincay
- Winningest jockey of all time
Lou Holtz
- Took four different programs to top 20 finishes. Bears a striking resemblance to Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies.
Lou Jacobi
- Appeared in "I.Q." and "My Favorite Year", among other movies
Lou Montulli
- Inventor of the BLINK tag in HTML, as well as HTTP cookies. Wrote the text-based Lynx browser for Unix, back in 1991. Put the second "cam" on the web, Fishcam.
Mark Felt (FFF 2006)
- Recently revealed to be Deep Throat. From the looks of his photo, Mr. Felt took this secret 99.5 percent of the way to the grave.
Marquette Golden Eagles
Martha Ingram
- Late husband, Bronson Ingram, inherited father's oil and barge empire 1963, started Ingram Micro.
Martha Quinn
- Original MTV veejay
Martha Stewart
- She can do anything better than you.
Martha Tilton
- Singer with Benny Goodman's band in the 1930s and 1940s, known as the "Liltin' Miss Tilton"
Martin Gardner
- Known for popularizing mathematics and mathematical puzzles. He wrote a regular column called "Mathematical Games" in the magazine Scientific American for many years.
Martin Lawrence
- Starred in his own TV series, 'Martin', and several movies. His co-star, Tisha Campbell, sued him for sexual harassment. He checks in and out of drug rehab centers like they are hotels. He was arrested in Los Angeles for screaming 'Fight the Power' at motorists while having a loaded gun in his pocket. He went jogging wearing heavy clothes in 100 degree weather until he collapsed of heat stroke and went into a coma (August, 1999). He was arrested for a second time for carrying a loaded gun, this time at the Phoenix airport. He was arrested for punching a guy who bumped into him on a dance floor.
Martin Mull
- Spokesman for Red Roof Inns before being replaced by a bobblehead doll. Currently he can be seen playing the part of Principal Kraft on "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch".
Martin Sheen
- Sheen suffered a heart attack during the arduous shooting of Apocalypse Now.
Mike Tyson
- Ex-boxing champ, convicted rapist, and possible cannibal. Not a man to be messed with. You can't go wrong in a deadpool when a guy is quoted as saying on Fox Sports 'Beyond the Glory' show: "Maybe in my next life, I'll have a better life. And that's why I'm just looking forward to go to the other world. 'Cause I really hate the way I live now. And I hate my life now."
Mike Wallace
- Mike Wallace has been co-editor of 60 Minutes since its premiere on Sept. 24, 1968.
Mikhail Baryshnikov
- Ballet dancer, born January 27, 1948, in Riga, Latvia.
Morley Safer
- Has been a co-editor of 60 Minutes since December 1970. The 2003-04 season marks his 34th on the broadcast.
Morris Kahn
- An original investor in $1.6 billion Amdocs, a customer relationship management and billing software firm for large telecom outfits. One out of every two phone calls made in North America relies on Amdocs software.
Mort Sahl
- Political humorist born in 1927
Mort Walker
- Cartoonist who created Beetle Bailey
Mortimer Zuckerman
- Built warehouse and office space in Boston and Washington, D.C. Second career as publisher: owns U.S. News & World Report, New York's Daily News. Sold Fast Company magazine for $365 million near tech market peak.
Nolan Ryan
- Once gave a major beatdown to Robin Ventura when he rushed the mound on him.
Norm MacDonald
- Saturday Night Live news anchor. Impersonates Bob Dole, David Letterman, Burt Reynolds and Larry King.
Norman H. Bangerter
- Republican Governor of Utah, 1985-93
Norman Borlaug
- Agricultural scientist. Won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1970 for his work helping alleviate hunger around the world.
Norman Lear
- Produced the TV shows 'All in the Family,' 'Sanford and Son,' 'Maude,' 'Good Times,' 'One Day at a Time' 'Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman' and 'The Martha Raye Show'. Produced the movies 'The Princess Bride' and 'Fried Green Tomatoes'
Norman Lloyd
- Played Dr. Auschlander on the TV series "St. Elsewhere"
Norman Schwarzkopf
- A leader of Desert Storm, his father was a New Jersey cop who helped investigate the kidnapping of the Lindbergh baby.
Norman Wisdom
- British slapstick comedian and film star
Nortel Networks
- Scandal-beset telecommunications company is laying off thousands.
North Carolina A&T Aggies
Penny Marshall
- AKA Laverne. You see her hanging out with Rosie O'Donnell, but never Cindy Williams.
Pepperdine Waves
Perry Farrell
- Front-man for Jane's Addiction, Porno For Pyros. Founder of Lollapalooza music festival.
Perry Richardson Bass
- Father Perry built on oil fortune inherited from uncle Sid Richardson. Lost a chunk of that fortune thanks to bad tech bets.
Pervez Musharraf
- Military dictator of Pakistan. Seized power in a 1999 coup. It looks like he dyes his hair with black shoe polish.
Pete Best
- Fired from The Beatles as they were on the verge of superstardom. He was replaced by Ringo Starr, who, unlikely though it may seem, was considered a better drummer. Sued the makers of Trivial Pursuit when the game incorrectly stated that he was dead.
Pete Rose
- Inducted into the WWE Hall Of Fame for his guest spots at Wrestlemanias 14-16.
Reginald VelJohnson
- Portrayed Carl Winslow on Family Matters. He frequently plays police officers in movies and on TV.
Regis Philbin
- TV Host/Quiz Master
Reinhard Mohn
- One of Mohn's ancestors founded media giant Bertelsmann as a publisher of hymnals and religious materials in 1835. Now his family holds 17.3% of the $18 billion (sales) company, which owns such properties as Arista record label and U.S. magazines Fast Company and Inc.
Reinhold Würth
- Took over his father's tiny wholesale screw business at 19 and built it into the Adolf Würth Group, which posted record $6.7 billion in sales in 2002. Würth has retired from daily affairs, but keeps a watchful eye on the business. Meantime, he maintains a sizeable collection of contemporary art which includes works by such artists as Picasso, Max Beckmann, Miro and Alfred Hrdilicka.
Rem Vyakhirev
- The only member of the Forbes billionaires' list to be decorated with the Order of Lenin. Vyakhirev was a model Communist Party functionary. Ruled Russia's natural gas indusry as if it was his personal fiefdom until 2001, when he was dismissed by President Vladimir Putin.
Renee Russo
- She has appeared in "Lethal Weapon (3 and 4)", "Get Shorty", "The Thomas Crown Affair", and "Tin Cup".
Rex Reed
- A 60+ year old movie critic with a tan and dyed hair. He was the constant butt of jokes of the animated sitcom The Critic.
Rhea Perlman
- Carla on Cheers, married to Danny DeVito
Rhode Island Rams
Ricardo Montalban (FFF 2007)
- His coffin will definitely feature rich Corinthian leather.
Rue McClanahan
- The horny one on The Golden Girls. Currently married to her sixth husband, battling breast cancer.
Rupert Murdoch
- Australian-born billionaire media mogul who became a US citizen in 1985 to skirt prohibition on foreigners owning American TV stations. Inherited his first newspaper. Went on to acquire more than sixty major media outlets, including the Fox network, DirecTV, and the New York Post. Recent FCC deregulation clears the way for further US domination.
Rush Limbaugh
- Dodged the Vietnam draft due to an anal cyst.
Russel Honore
- Three-star general. New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin: "Now I will tell you this, and I give the President some credit on this: he sent one John Wayne dude down here that can get some stuff done. And his name is General Honoré. And he came off the doggone chopper, and he started cussing and people started moving."
Russell Peterson
- Republican Governor of Delaware, 1969-73. Became a Democrat in 1996.
Rusty Wallace
- The guy in car #2
Rutgers Scarlet Knights
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
- Supreme Court Justice since 1993.
Ruth Buzzi
- Best known for her work on Laugh-In (1968-73)
Ruth Warrick
- Played Mrs. Kane in the groundbreaking movie "Citizen Kane", has played Phoebe on the TV soap opera "All My Children" for thirty years
Slim Whitman
- Is either one of the best loved or most widely ridiculed singers of the late twentieth century, depending on if you listen to TV commercials or actual people you know.
SMU Mustangs
Snoop Doggy Dogg
- Born Cordozar Calvin Broadus Jr. Gangsta rapper acquitted of first-degree murder charge in 1994.
Sonny Jurgenson
- NFL quarterback from 1957-1974 with Philadelphia and Washington
Sophia Loren
- After an early career based mostly on her measurements, Sophia carved out an award-winning acting career, wrote books, launched a line of perfume and eyewear, and became an icon of the cinema.
Soupy Sales
- He's thrown too many pies; bound to get creamed sooner or later.
South Alabama Jaguars
South Carolina Gamecocks
South Florida Bulls
Southeast Louisiana Lions
Texas Tech Red Raiders
Than Shwe
- Born 1933. Chairman of the military junta running Myanmar (formerly known as Burma). Among the numerous offenses for which Burmese have been arrested are selling tapes of CNN and BBC coverage of the 2004 tsunami and for “hiding in the dark.”
Thaksin Shinawatra
- Billionaire founded the Thai Rak Thai ("Thais Love Thais") political party in 1998. As Prime Minister, he ordered a 2002 crackdown in which as many as 2700 drug dealers or offenders were summarily executed by Thai police, without any judicial process whatsoever. Overthrown in 2006 as he was in New York City to address the United Nations General Assembly.
The Dalai Lama
- His Holiness Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet.
Toys R Us
- Recently sold; new owners may be considering selling or closing its toy business for the real estate value and just sticking to Babies R Us.
Tracey Gold
- Starred in TV's "Growing Pains" and famously went public with her anorexia battle. Arrested in September 2004 for drunk driving.
Tran Duc Luong
- Vietnamese leader oversees a classic Communist regime that forbids public criticism of the party.
Treach
- Naughty By Nature rapper (real name Anthony Criss)
Trent Lott
- He has a history of going in favor of policies that do not favor African Americans. He is a homophobe who once called homosexuality a 'sin,' while at the same time, compared homosexuals with alcoholics. Has ridiculous-looking hair.
Trent Reznor
- Bought a former funeral parlor in New Orleans and made it into his recording studio.
Trey Parker & Matt Stone
- Co-creators of South Park
Tulane Green Wave
Tulsa Golden Hurricane
US Senate - Any current Senators from Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, or Maryland.
US Senate - Any current Senators from Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, or Missouri.
Whitney Houston
- Admitted to having used cocaine and marijuana and being addicted to sex. Has a famously rocky marriage to fellow singer Bobby Brown.
Wichita State Shockers
Wilford Brimley
- Quaker Oat loving actor with a weight problem.
Xavier (OH) Musketeers
Xaviera Hollander
- The Happy Hooker
Celebrity Couples
Barbra Streisand & James Brolin
Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner
Billy Joel and Katie Lee
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
Michael J. Fox & Tracy Pollan
Mira Sorvino and Chris Backus
Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim
Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban