scgiwrap: Caller must be the nobody user |
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N.C. |
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scgiwrap: Caller must be the nobody user |
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N.C. |
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Coach: P. Diddy
Franchise Player: LaDainian TomlinsonNew York Trophy Case
Work Horse Award (Best RB) MVP (Best Player)
New York Powerpuff Girls 2002 Season Recap (7-8 1R L)
Another wild year is in the books for New York, which included a Bundy, a coaching change, yet another name change, and the league's biggest rivalry of the year: Philadelphia vs. New York. The league scheduled 3 regular season games against the terrorist-coached A\&Bs to spark ratings. New York took 2 of the 3 games, and new coach Robert Blake had the Powerpuffs on a roll to end the season winning 6 of 8, heading into their playoff rematch with Philly. But without his Priest around, Coach Blake couldn't get his Johnson up and ready, and then he lost his Bulger. Philly evened the series when it counted, and for the second straight year New York was eliminated in the 1st round.
SB Playoffs: Assault \& Batteries 61, Powerpuff Girls 29
The Powerpuff Girls couldn't get their Johnson to perform at the most critical time, and then they lost their Bulger.
Week 14: Powerpuff Girls 69, Road Rage 46
Keyshawn had to get a divorce from his wife because she would not stop nagging him about his lack of TD production the past few years.
Week 13: Powerpuff Girls 66, Muckrackers 49
Coach Rodman became the first coach to win the coin flip and choose to kick off at the start of both halves.
Week 12: Powerpuff Girls 57, Assault \& Batteries 48
Early in the morning on game day, the A\&B QBs came out and visited the protesting VietNam vets living in the shantytown outside the Philadelphia football stadium. Unfortunately, things started looking bad for the A\&B QBs after Jeff Blake ate some toast topped with Agent Orange instead of jelly. Then Kerry Collins drank a bottle of Napalm thinking it was a 40.
Week 11: Powerpuff Girls 60, Interns 50
The Interns are wasting everyone's time by keeping Jim Miller on the roster. Cut this loser so we never have to hear his name again until years from now when he gets arrested for selling crack.
Week 10: Princesses 73, Powerpuff Girls 49
As for the future, every Powerpuff Girl cheerleader plans on doing her part to make the world a way better place by showing as much ass is allowed during dance routines. Raise the roof\!
Week 9: Powerpuff Girls 76, Interrogatives 47
New York overhauled their cheerleading squad after the name change. Experts now all agree that no other team gets quite as jiggy after scoring as New York. Powerpuff Girls cheerleaders say the only uncool thing about being a cheerleader is sweating in front of all those people. Let's hear it for NY\!
Week 7: Felons 68, Fudge Packers 29
New coach Robert Blake didn't have to bust a cap in anybody's ass this week. NY got a big win over their most hated rivals.
Week 6: Assault \& Batteries 71, Felons 38
In tribute to the team's early days in Buffalo, Philadelphia's indoor stadium is equipped with weather machines that can create up to 8 feet of snow.
Week 5: Swingers 60, Felons 41
P. Diddy's mind is completely off football since he heard that Britney Spears told that geek from N'Sync (or is it the Backstreet Boys) to get lost. "Now she can start dating an older, successful rapper like myself," said Doo-Doo. He went on to add, "OH GOD, WHO AM I KIDDING! J-LO TAKE ME BACK! MY LIFE IS OVER! KILL ME NOW!"
Week 3: Circus Honkeys 61, Felons 29
P. Diddy is spending more time lining up halftime entertainment than coaching these days. Lou Albano's team put the chokehold on New York, but Felons fans can have the last laugh knowing their playoff bid is already guaranteed.
Week 2: Ozzies 73, Felons 27
Bad news for the Felons this week -- 30 of them got called into court to testify.
Week 1: Felons 57, Assault \& Batteries 44
In the interviews at the end of the game, Priest Holmes gave Jesus all the credit for his Bundy, while the Assault & Batteries players gave Jesus all the blame.
"Yeah, we almost won this game - until Jesus made me fumble," said Deuce McAllister. "He must have heard about my nine illegitimate children, or the eight-ball I snorted last night, or my wife's black eye."
NYC Felons 2002 Training Camp Report
The Felons once again have a tough road ahead of them. Despite having a respectable season and making the playoffs last season, few New Yorkers are happy with the team. Many believe the league fixed games to get NY into the playoffs in sympathy after 9-11. Coach P. Diddy's shmoozing with Martha Stewart isn't winning over the blue collar fans either. Until the JCFFL loses it's pro-terrorism appeal, there will be a high anti-NY sentiment around the league.
New York Bad Boy Felons 2001 Season Recap (8-7 1R L)
Annual JCFFL doormat New York was able to laugh it up this year, cruising to the top of the standings with an 8-2 record. But as Sept. 11th grew more distant, teams stop going easy on the New Yorkers, who nevertheless continued to gloat about their accomplishments 'til the bitter end. Eddie George, Cris Carter and Donovan McNabb all went into the tank, and this combined with a late-season drop in bonus point production to cause the Bad Boys' house of cards to collapse faster than the second WTC building. Even though they didn't play each other, arch-rivals Central America had the last laugh watching the Felons lose their last five games to finish at 8-7. In the playoffs, New York scored a season-worst 32.8 pts as they were ousted in a defensive struggle by Orlando.
New York Barbie Dolls 2000 Season Recap (6-8 RS)
Some may call it the Year of the Bundy, but in New York it was definitely the Year of the Bonus Points. New York proved to be the perfect JCFFL city, as the team scored a league-leading 119.5 BPs. Commish Mike Tyson is now considering placing a team in South Central L.A. The Barbies' steady flow of bonus points nearly turned this Toilet Bowl-destined team into a playoff team. 7 of their 8 wins included a total 118.5 BPs, while only one of their losses included a BP. But the Al Bundy re-named teams curse struck again after their name was changed from Metro Stars to Barbie Dolls. The Barbies lost 3 of their last 5 to drop out of playoff contention.
Queens, NYC Drug Lords 1999 Season Recap (6-8 RS)
The injury bug hit NYC the hardest of all teams, taking away superstar first round pick Jamal Anderson and franchise player Randall Cunningham. Their first week score of 65.44 would be the highest score of their entire 6-8 season.
Coached in the preseason by John Gotti Sr., he handed it down to his son, John Gotti Jr., after his son's failed coup of the commissioner office. With Gotti Jr. and his "assistant coaches" involved in a gang wars with the Teletubbies, the Drug Lords barely avoided playing in the Toilet Bowl.
New York Steel Curtain 1998 Season Recap (8-8 SB L)
New Yorkers expressed resentment towards coach Terry Bradshaw after a slow start. In response to low early-season attendance, he began packing the stands with convicted NYC felons on special release. These violent fans psyched out visiting opponents and gave the Curtain the best home-field advantage in the league. Unfortunately, they could not find a way to win on the road during this rollercoaster season. The Steel Curtain found themselves in the playoffs after a big win in their final game gave them a 7-7 record. They advanced to the Super Bowl, losing to the Orlando Swingers.
| Team Owner | ||
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David "NY Dave" Guitano is a native Yankee, now a wanna-be Carolina redneck. Looking to get back to the dance! | |
