Coach: OJ Simpson
Franchise Player: None

Pflugerville Trophy Case

Pflugerville Lounge Lizards 2002 Season Recap (8-7 1R L)

Even though Pflugerville wasn't the best expansion team in 2002, they will go into the JCFFL history books as the first expansion team to make the playoffs thanks to a Bundy by Shaun Alexander. With a playoff spot secured early, coach Austin Powers turned to eliminating rivals. First, he changed the Orlando Swingers' name to Transvestite Terror. Then he worked behind the scenes to get coach Mini-Me out of the league, even if it meant taking out the midget's team with him. He also drove Commissioner Jerry Lewis from the league after deciding the Commish was probably Fat Bastard in disguise. But in the end, Powers' schemes got the better of him when Orlando brutally crushed the Lizards in a playoff grudge match.

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SB Playoffs: Transvestite Terror 85, Lounge Lizards 54

After several weeks of deep introspection, Orlando fans have decided to accept the Transvestite Terror for who they are.

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Week 14: Lounge Lizards 59, Ozzies 48

Ozzy let some of his band members get into the game as substitutes.

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Week 13: Suicides 61, Lounge Lizards 28

The game experienced excessive delays as the refs constantly headed off to the sideline to do instant replay reviews almost every down. It turns out that Austin Powers had replaced the instant replay camera on the sideline with a peep show booth.

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Week 12: Circus Honkeys 68, Lounge Lizards 27

The Circus Honkeys are making a desperate run for the last playoff spot. This weekend Captain Lou Albano went to a flea market and purchased the rally monkey that had been used by the California Angels.

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Week 11: Assault & Batteries 60, Lounge Lizards 49

People are starting to arrive days ahead of time for A&B games and live in the shantytown with the protesting VietNam vets. Some have such a good time that they don't even go inside the stadium to watch the game.

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Week 10: Lounge Lizards 73, Interns 22

The Interns offense was weaker than Bud Light this week.

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Week 9: Transvestite Terror 65, Lounge Lizards 26

Coach Alyssa Milano announced that future plans for the Transvestite Terror now include moving the team into the Women's Professional Football League by the 2003 season.

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Week 7: Walleyes 56, Lounge Lizards 36

James Stewart had the best game of his sorry life this week. The Walleyes have somehow managed to be the only team in the league capable of beating the Lounge Lizards. A happy coach Tom Arnold commemorated the event by spending three bucks for a bottle of wine with a cartoon character on the label. "I didn't realize there was anything wrong with it until it turned my urine green," said Stewart.

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Week 6: Lounge Lizards 49, Princesses 29

Tim Couch was listed as "probable" with a concussion and "questionable" for emotional scarring.

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Week 5: Lounge Lizards 58, Interrogatives 44

Coach Trebek is tremendously disappointed that his superstar players do not have the intellect necessary to understand and execute his complex passing attack and intricate defensive schemes. Next season he has sworn to skip the draft of NFL players. Instead he will put together a team made up of computer programmers and crossword puzzle experts.

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Week 3: Lounge Lizards 68, Princesses 28

The Lizards came out with the week's top score after hearing coach Powers' pre-game speech: "Play like all-stars, party like rock stars, and hammer like porn stars, oh yeah baby!"
Bandwagon fans are leaving London like rats off a sinking ship. The Princesses had the league's worst score for the second straight week. Some British fans are even claiming that Pflugerville is in England and switching over to the Lizards.

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Week 2: Walleyes 53, Lounge Lizards 42

Okiboji free agent pickup Peerless Price was the #1 WR with 19.4 pts. League officials are still trying to figure out how he did that with two sorry QBs throwing to him whose combined scores were -1.52.

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Week 1: Lounge Lizards 52, Muckrackers 37

One coach has already turned against commissioner Jerry Lewis: Austin Powers, who believes Jerry is Fat Bastard in disguise.

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Lounge Lizards 2002 Training Camp Report

Folks were surprised when Pflugerville of all places landed a new franchise. The expansion committee looked into all of the new applications and judged that Pflugerville's potential fan base was larger than that of the other two competing candidates, which were 1) the island Tom Hanks washed up on in Castaway and 2) the moon.
Austin Powers took the head coaching job here because he heard that players can get points for scoring off the field in JCFFL (yeah baby!).

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